20 minutes late

 A thousand things clamor in my mind, demanding to be heard. To be written and shared. After all, I have ADHD. Even with medication the competing & collaborating thoughts are only somewhat quieter, never silent or patient.

I could write about collective grief. October got even heavier tonight.

I could write about America's weak & white androcentric healthcare system after months of not feeling right and the past 9 days of "normal" bloodwork even though I ended up in the ER with chest pain. My heart is great apparently. Low risk for a heart attack. Encouraging yet enigmatic. The fight for answers will wage on.

Tonight I will hearken back to something lighter.

On an unseasonably warm January day, I had a coffee date scheduled. It was to be my first date in several years. After significant change and growth, getting clearer on what I want, several months in therapy, and a little New Year confidence, I felt excited to explore dating in my 40s.

On the morning of the date, I happily got ready. I try very hard to leave plenty of buffer time for myself as time blindness tends to devastate my ability to arrive on time. Buffer time is the only way, but it is far from foolproof.

Several unknowable calamities thwarted all my efforts and then some. And I found myself texting my coffee date that I was running late. A less than ideal scenario, and yet ultimately a useful situation.

I know many Americans view lateness as incredibly disrespectful and would have canceled immediately, luckily my date did not share this perspective. And my tardiness allowed me to see what kind of person I was dealing with.

As someone who was raised with a more flexible idea of time, a man who is patient and kind in this area is necessary.

I would not be a good match for someone who lives by the mantra, "on time is late."

After several text updates, I arrived for coffee twenty minutes late. And I met a handsome, understanding, and generous man. We had a great conversation and by the end of the date we agreed we would like to see each other again.

We've been making that agreement everyday since.